Erkek Egosu, Kadın İkiyüzlülüğü

2017-09-25 12:14:00

Anket yapmaya falan gerek yok, gündelik hayatımızda yaşadığımız tecrübeler gösteriyor ki bir dolu insan ya işinden ya eşinden ya da her ikisinden birden şikayetçi, tatminsiz, mutsuz. Hadi diyelim işinden memnun olmama kısmında suçlu eğitimsizlik, ekonomi, vahşi kapitalizm, yetersiz iş imkanları. Ki tüm bunlar geçerli sebepler olmakla beraber kimseye her gün şikayet etme, suratsız ve kötü çalışma hakkını tanımıyor. Eşinden memnun olmayan ve bu konuda aksiyon almak yerini mutsuzluğunu etrafına yansıtanlara ne demeli?   Öncelikle eşinden memnun olmama halini açalım. Her hafta ağlayıp zırlayıp yakınlarının kafasını şişirecek bir mevzu buluyorsan, özel hayatındaki gerginliği işine verimsizlik ve çalışma arkadaşlarına suratsızlık olarak yansıtıyorsan, whatsapp-facebook-linkedin-instagram’dan tuhaf özel mesajlar atıp ‘arkadaş’larını yokluyorsan, belli ki eşinden memnun değilsin. Sene olmuş 2017; sorumluluk alıp bir psikoloğa ya da çift terapistine gideceğin yerde neden etrafını zehirlemenin daha makul olduğunu düşünüyorsun? Sorun yaşaman çok doğal, sorunlarınla yüzleşmekten kaçınman ise çocukça ve kabul edilemez. Medeni olmasını temenni ettiğimiz bir toplumda yaşıyoruz, hepimiz etkileşim halindeyiz. Biri tarafından alınmayan her sorumluluk bir başkasına ekstra yük olarak biniyor, farkında değil misin? Senin eşinle yaşadığın tatminsizliğin faturasını bir başkası trafikte sergilediğin agresifliğe maruz kalarak ödemek zorunda mı? Ve bu negatif etkileşim dönüp dolaşıp sana temas edecek, bilmiyor musun? Enerji döner dolaşır sahibini bulur. Şöyle bir düşünün, hangi arkadaşlarınız sakin, düzenli bir hayat sürüyor? Hangileri her türlü karmaşayı peş peşe kendine çekiyor? Yöneticisi ile flört ederek bir anda yüksel... Devamı


2017-09-20 16:52:00

Common mistake among singles is that love simply HAPPENS; you wait for the right person to come along and then – ‘BOOM!!!’, you fall in love and live happily ever after. The truth is you can INCREASE your CHANCES of meeting someone by being more approachable. When you are out with friends, be present. Enjoy the food, music, whatever conversation going on. Don’t just nod, listen and participate. Update your friends about your current emotional state and your desire to meet someone. Do not state over the top wishes, be reasonable with your standards. You can always eliminate people but first you need to have options. If you sound like “nobody is good enough for me”, people will be hesitant to let you know about singles around them and that only makes sense. Do not go out to just go out. If you don’t feel like it, stay home. If you want to make it worth your time, stop complaining about how tired you are, be pleasant. Your vibe matters. Dress accordingly and appreciate where you are, what you eat, what you drink etc. Otherwise soon enough you will start thinking “I go out all the time but unlike others never ever any lucky coincidence finds me therefore I will stay in for the rest of my life”. How about your social presence? If you don’t have any, it’s more likely that you don’t even exist. You need to have at least one active social media account to give other singles a convenient tool to pursue you. But be careful what you share and how you position yourself. Make meaningful check-ins. Be coherent with your choice of online presence, do not mix them up. Tinder, Happen, Swarm, Instagram, WhatsApp may serve the same crowd but different goals. And don’t be shy to sign up to a serious dating site if that’s what you want. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Hiring a personal matchmaker makes life a lot easier and helps you find love faster then yo... Devamı


2017-09-20 16:26:00

1. You’re asking for attention and affection You should never have to look for evidence that the other person likes you. You must simply know that you are loved, and leave it at that. You don’t want to put yourself into attention seeking freak position just because s/he says that s/he loves you but act the other way and leaves you all confused and somewhat not good enough. 2. You can’t be your true self Are you constantly trying to make yourself more “pleasing” for the person you’re with? It’s not Ok if you can’t ask for what you want/need because of the fear the other person will leave you. You are in this relationship to share not to be a cheerleader. 3. S/he doesn’t invite you anywhere If someone loves you, you will automatically be in his/her world and be a part of the daily conversation around his /her entourage; be a part of the gang and naturally get informed and get invited. 4. You find yourself stalking This is a crucial sign that shows you feel left out and need to find out more by stalking. Shows a great deal of insecurity; not necessarily because you don’t have self esteem but instead s/he constantly leaves you on blind spot so that you need to fill in the blanks to make sense of what’s happening before becoming all too angry and judgmental. This is an effort put by you because of the lack of communication and soon you will be all worn out and end up with a huge headache. It’s exhausting to give 100 percent of yourself to a person who only gives you 50 percent in return; trying to get the other half by your own means. Don’t hold on to someone that causes you more pain than joy. Will it be hard? Yes! But it’s better to have some temporary pain than a lifetime of being stuck somewhere you know you don’t belong.... Devamı


2017-09-20 16:46:00

Your vibe matters and it’s time to sweep away the blues. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what body shape you have. Believe me, you are not alone. So you better stop playing the victim and ease down on self-pity. Life is not fair and everybody has their own disadvantages. Underlining your reasons to be the way you are, will only strengthen the place you are now and prevent you to reach where you want to be. ‘Cause god knows you have all the good reasons and convinced everybody so.  Welcome to your self built social prison. Move it. Don’t lock yourself up at home sitting on your ass all day, reshooting the last romantic episode of your life on every other angle. Idle mind is devil’s playground and you don’t want that. You do not need to follow every update on Facebook, every like on Instagram. Have your own simple routines; go to the grocery store, enjoy strolling through the shelves, try to cook some new dishes. Invite your friends to enjoy a drink at the balcony. Organize your wardrobe; get rid of the ones you haven’t been wearing in 2 years. You need to let go to refresh yourself. Don’t be stingy when it comes to trying something new. I know that it’s hard to decide whether it’s worth to pay a 100 for this new skin cream or that new restaurant but guess what? You cannot know unless you try and some will worth spending while others not. That’s what life is all about. There is no such thing as getting a 100 percent return on your expectation but appreciating the experience you had.  You attract the ones in your own spectrum of awareness. Once you make peace with yourself and the life itself; it will all go better from there on.... Devamı


2017-09-20 16:44:00

If you are single for quite sometime, let’s say more than 2 years and wishing to get coupled up… It is most likely that you are miscalculating stuff. So let’s dig deep into that stuff; what it is and what can be done about it. Are you sure you haven’t been bitten by a serial dater bug? That disease is quite epidemic, you know? You start with all innocent emotions; want to get to know the real personality of someone and settle down. Then before you know you start to cross out people over silly things; the way he drives or the type of heels she is wearing. Are you looking for merits to cherish or flaws to get irritated? If you look close enough you will gather enough evidence for both cases. So it’s up to you where to look depending on where you want to go with that person. Are you trying too hard? Dating is different than your career, more effort does not necessarily mean a better outcome. Dating too much (particularly through apps.) can be as bad (or worse) than not dating enough. Focus less on the number and more on the quality. Going on dates just for the sake of it; one item done on your to do list approach will only exhaust you and kill the buzz. You need to feel that buzz if you wish to fall in love again, that’s a must. Are you emotionally ready to date? Or in other words; do you feel satisfied with your life so that you are open to listening and trying to understand someone else’s? Or do you repeat your sad old story to anyone you just met and try to figure out why all that happened to you? You cannot let someone in if all that bullshit of yours occupy all the space. Be aware of your state and make up your mind. If you really want to have a committed relationship, focus on what you want. Make meeting someone special your top priority – if you don’t know how to do that, hire a matchmaker. Hiring a personal matchmaker makes life a lot easier and helps you find love a lot faster ... Devamı